Archive for July 25, 2009

My Turn Next!

So you all heard about Laura and Joey, right? Of course you did. After all, their “perfect love story” (puke, puke) made it into a book.

Well, what about me, huh? Am I any less important? I mean, it is because of me that Laura and Joey met after all. And my husband is one of the few—OK, so maybe the only one—who believed those two had a chance at happiness. Does our love story matter any less just because it is not as romantic? I think it is plenty romantic. More romantic than anything else in my life ever was. Besides, it takes more than just a bit of romance to make a marriage last like ours has.

And it has lasted for more than half a decade. Seven full years of wedded bliss. You may not think that is much, but when you look at my dating history, you’ll understand the big accomplishment. Before I met Toby, I hadn’t found a man I wanted to spend more than five weeks with, let alone five years. Who am I kidding? I never found a man I wanted to spend more than five days with! I mean, I had shoes that lasted longer than many of my relationships did.

And I bought at least one pair of new shoes every week.

Toby and I are still in love. Can every married woman say that after seven years? We’ve been through a lot together. We are parents—which brings any relationship to a whole different level. My own parents split up before my first birthday. Mom always said the way to know if a man truly loves you if he sticks around through the puking and dirty diapers. Toby not only stuck around, he did more than his share (especially with all the puking our oldest daughter did on him—every time he picked her up, I kid you not). Our baby girl, Belle, isn’t quite a year old. She has a rough road in front of her. Down’s syndrome pretty much guarantees that normal for Belle will be a lot different than for her big brother and sister. It has also brought a new sense of normal to our lives. And a new definition of love.

I’ll never forget the day the doctor told us, three months before she was born, that something was wrong with Belle. He suggested aborting the baby. Toby just squeezed my hand and told that doctor it didn’t matter what he said was wrong, “our little girl is perfect and loved.” I knew he wasn’t going to leave me or her. My love for him has only grown since that day.

But, that’s not at all romantic, right? At least, not romantic enough for its own book. I mean, who really wants to read about a couple of anti-abortion activists? Even if one of them does take the stage 5 nights a week, in a different city across the country, singing to millions of women. It’s not like what he says can really make a difference.

Right?

Little Barrett

    I have to be careful what I say. Mommy and Daddy will read this before I send it. They read everything I do on the computer. My Friends think that is not fair, but I don’t mind. I like knowing that Mommy and Daddy both care about me.

 

    I am still not used to Daddy being around. Meeting him was a dream of mine for years. I love my Mommy. We live in Grass Lake, Michigan. I can even show you right where it is on my hand if you want. The house we live in is my Nana house. Aunt Erin lives there, too. My best friends live down the street. But my Daddy…. I had never even seen a picture of him before this summer. Mommy never even talked about him very much. When I was really, about four or five, I would ask questions. Mommy almost always cried after we talked about Daddy. I didn’t like to make her cry like that. One time, I asked Aunt Erin about him. She just made a funny, growling kind of noise, like she didn’t want to talk about it. And Nana—well, she gets confused easily so I didn’t know if she would even know what I was talking about. My friends had Daddies, and I wanted one, too. When the school started talking about having a Daddy-Daughter Dance, I really began to miss my own Daddy. But I figured I was never going to meet him.

 

    Then one day, I met him. I came home from school and he was just THERE! Mommy always said that Jesus can do anything, just tell Him what you want and He can give it to you. She said that is called a miracle. I don’t know about that, but I know I prayed for my Daddy all the time. When I met him, it felt like a dream come true.

 

Barrett Bell-Matthews

Crystal’s Story

    I am so not a bad person. Laura might tell you something different, but you can’t believe everything out of her mouth. After all, she is a journalist. And no one can twist the truth like a journalist.

 

    Well, no one but a politician. But I don’t want to go there. Laura is good at telling everyone that am opinionated. If I get talking about politics, I’ll prove her right.

 

    And though I love her dearly, I don’t like to say that Laura is right about anything!

 

    We met about a week before classes started our freshman year at Princeton. I was not at all happy when I walked into my dorm room and saw Laura sitting there. The first thing I did was call my Daddy. “You promised me a private room!” I’d told him. Well, that is what I had shouted into his voicemail. He wasn’t answering his phone. Not surprising, really. He hadn’t even been able to take one day off work to help his daughter—his only child, I should tell you—move to college. Mom was out shopping, which is where I would rather have been. I had just graduated from high school. The last thing I wanted to do was start up at another school. But Daddy had ignored my pleas to take a year off school to travel Europe. Actually, he had bribed me to give up that idea with a private room at Princeton. So when I walked into the room and saw Laura unpacking, I was less than happy about it.

 

    Not that Laura cared. She never cared much for what anyone had to say. Well, anyone outside of her family, anyway. That’s why I was so surprised by what happened with Joey and Laura. She listened to what everyone around her thought, believed their opinions, and then acted on those opinions. She didn’t do what she wanted, she just did what she thought others wanted.

 

    Idiot.

 

    I love her and all. I mean, she is my best friend and even in the years when we didn’t speak she was the only one that I wanted to share my joys and heartaches with. But the girl can be the biggest idiot sometimes.

 

    Still, she is the one who brought true love into my life. Would I have met Taylor without Laura’s friendship? Who knows. But I am sure I would not have met him when I did without her. Oh, and Taylor has been the best thing to happen to me. Gosh, when I met Laura I was happily jumping from one man to another, never going out with the same one for more than a month. For the four years we were roommates I did the same thing. I even tried to get Laura to date as much as I did. Ironic, isn’t it? Instead of getting her to experience the variety of men this life has to offer, she introduced me to the only man who could have interested me in monogamy.

 

    And I don’t think I have ever thanked her for that.

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